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"When you present your needs, present them as what you do want rather than what you don't want." Instead of saying, "I hate when you have to have everything scheduled," try saying, "I would love to have a day where we can just be spontaneous."Maybe you wish he folded his socks, or that he would chat it up with your friends without prompting.
"Rather than trying to fight their partner's personality style, they instead focus on each other's strengths." Whether you want him to unload the dishwasher more often or pay closer attention to the kids, your partner will be more likely to change his behavior if he feels like he'll get relationship brownie points. Present it like 'here is the recipe for what will make me happy,' because everyone wants to make their partner feel happy," says Wilk.“I was estranged from my mother for 15 years or so and she died last month.